It’s around the corner, and the holidays will be in full force. Grief can seem to catch us when we may not expect it. There is so much hustle and bustle during this time of year. They call it the season of blessings and gratitude, but for many it can feel as if you just want this to be over.
Whether your loss is a divorce, a death or an unexpected change, grief has a life of its own. No two losses are the same and we all grieve in different ways. We can sometimes push it down and not talk about it causing us to become so emotional that it can make a simple task feel overwhelming. For some old losses are just as challenging as recent ones. Guilt can play a huge role in our experiences that should have joy, but the guilt of bringing happiness to our lives again can be too difficult to embrace.
What I do know is that bringing joy into our lives especially during times of grief, is the best medicine for healing. If you want to feel the connection of a loved one even our fur or feathered babies who have crossed the first thing is to raise your energy levels to have the connection, you once had. This may seem daunting and even fake to make laughter a fun part of your life. However, it is the best tool you can incorporate to your healing process.
Changing how you celebrate your holidays can promote your way of healing and honoring the changes you have been through. Even though we know change is inevitable and it can feel difficult to embrace, honoring the changes you have been through can promote healing also. Find ways to celebrate the past and look forward to the future, it may be hard during grief to grasp this, but it is a way to help in your healing.
When you lose a loved one it can feel like you can’t celebrate them. But, you certainly can with just a few ideas. Start thinking of creative ways that you and your family can incorporate the memories. For example, at Thanksgiving, you can go around the table and share funny stories or share what you loved most about them. Make a toast about your loved one and know they are with you; they are just celebrating without having to do any dishes.
Maybe you can start a new tradition by volunteering for their favorite cause or your favorite one in honor of your loved one.
Another idea would be adopting a family with needs so you can help them celebrate in an effort to help you find what you are grateful for because it can be very challenging to find gratitude when we are grieving. It can be especially hard when others around you are feeling joyous during the holiday season. I encourage you to take many deep breaths and find things that can help you find the joy and gratitude even during grief. I know without a doubt that your loved ones in spirit wants you to have joy, to count your blessings and to celebrate the life you have.
These rules apply to any type of grief, divorce, job loss etc. Nurture yourself by being kind to you, I find that this is a big one. Givers, healers, teachers, etc., feel giving to others will make them feel better. Well, that maybe true for a few moments, but taking care of you is the best thing you can do for yourself and those you share your life with.
Allow yourself to cry, ask for help and learn to say no to the things that are not filling your soul. Beginning to create a balance can actually bring on guilt, but with practice you can feel stronger and better equipped to do what makes you happy and you will begin to be okay to have gratitude and joy. For this Holiday Season, I would love to hear your stories. Please email me with how you are taking care of yourself and what tools you are using to heal. I will choose someone for a Half Hour reading and a set of my Forever Connected Oracle cards so you can connect to your loved one on your own.
Sending you lots of love and looking forward to hearing from you,
Deb
email me at deb@debsheppard.com
